4/30/08

Two armed video games ran amok at a children's day care center out in Wako Texas. It is believed these video games were above the age level of the kids at the day care center. Those in charge of the children could offer little control over the video games. Their parental controls were turned off, as they were not actually the parents of the children they were taking care of.

The video games provided shameless sex acts on the children. They gave them drugs and weapons, and allowed them to drive a car over pedestrians. The children quickly became professional mobsters and assassins. The video games turned what were innocent and defenseless children into bloodthirsty rebels with a license to kill.

Taking the video games with them beyond the day care center the children robbed a 7 Eleven stealing all available caffeine only enhancing the video games' power. They quickly moved on to bigger and better things robbing a Chucky Cheese, and holding everyone hostage in the ball pit. From there they stole all the gummy bears, placed them in a microwave and created a large gelatinous concoction that threatened the very fabric of the time space continuum.

Some children were given special powers and abilities. One child could fly, while others were brutally run over as they crossed the street but suddenly vanished only to reappear unharmed and alive outside of a nearby hospital. If these video games are truly powerful enough to reanimate the dead, we will all be in serious trouble.

Luckily the damage was contained as the children were soon confronted with a problem they simply could not solve and walked away from the vile video games. It is reported that large blocks appeared before them and they had to be moved to corresponding squares with the correct colors. The puzzle was simple enough, but the blocks were enormous and the children were unable to move them.

The two video games remain at large and are said to be targeting children elsewhere. Parents are in deep protest and demand these games be found and stopped before a child finds the one where they would be allowed to collect the materials of the entire universe into one large ball by simply rolling it around.

Other protesters defend that the games should be saved and saved quickly. They refuse to let the data be lost forever as it is considered an endangered species. They also advocate for copying them, but religious activists and conservatives say copying goes against the laws of nature and God himself. Debates are spreading all over to contain this mess and find solutions for everyone. The question remains whether or not we will find peace before the video games strike again.